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hour long afternoon

by Hazel Rain

supported by
Keith Porteous (they/em)
Keith Porteous (they/em) thumbnail
Joanna Castillo
Joanna Castillo thumbnail
calvill
calvill thumbnail
/

lyrics

we sit at the table in our home
everything feels calm
except the fire in our walls
you tell me you love me
the words make my eyes sting.
i finally notice the burning,
and your careless laughter through it
so i get up to leave
you’re never really gone though

you poke my ribs and temples throughout each day
and i see you in my drinking water
i'm pouring down the drain
you crumble like faded wallpaper when i say
i don't want your words around mine anymore
i'm out the door (x2)

you spend days wasting
and even though i cannot hear you
i see you standing,
dark unwashed hair in the doorway
i ask you why you still reside in me
you assure me with a grin you'll never leave
i'm destined to be a demented stop sign
for the rest of my time here

you poke my ribs and my temples throughout each day
and i see you in my drinking water
i'm pouring down the drain.
down the drain, but don't you worry now
i'll embrace your ghost when you're gone
so it's not hopeless now

i run to the dirt,
it's the only thing i think of that doesn't sound like you
and i pretend you don't exist for an hour long afternoon
but you do and when you're brought up in conversation
my fingerbones clench to dust
are you happy now?
are you happy with what you've made of me now?
(it's not hopeless now)

credits

released February 12, 2021

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Hazel Rain Bellingham, Washington

writer and musician. ❤️

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